Addressing Sexual Abuse

Many harp on the fact that something precious and sacred was taken at a young age if you were abused as a child. Something precious and sacred is taken no matter what age you are when sexual abuse/assault occurs. There are signs when the abuse occurs at a younger age. There are always signs many either don't know what to look for or prefer not to acknowledge what is happening; either of the above is saddening. Children should be protected. People fail to see that what is taken isn't something that you can get back. You can and will learn to deal with what has happened and get through life; but things will never be as they were before. You have seen the darker side of human nature, you understand first hand what people are capable of and so you will never again bask in the glow of ignorance. Your trust in people is shattered especially when no one come to your aid/defense. People try to rationalize what has happened and find excuses for the abuser, they even go so far as to blame the survivor, or insinuate that in some way it was enjoyed or wanted or a direct result of something we did or said. And so to those of you out there I say if you can’t say something intelligent please do us all a favor and remain quiet.We are taunted by our abusers words “You know you wanted it, You know you liked it.”

This is part of what is wrong with our world; we excuse the wrong doing of those we consider to be above the law; set a part by their wealth, beauty, brains, social status, etc.. We let those who are close to us or related to us off the hook for the crimes they have committed because they are family, because doing something about it would shame the family, and the excuses continue. We live in a society that wants women to imprison themselves in their homes (not that they are any safer there), we live in a society that says women should always be covered up, that says women shouldn't be assertive. We blame the survivor when it was never their fault, we ask them to excuse their abuser, to take into consideration what the abuser may have gone through, to look at their age, to examine how deep their pocket is etc...... how much more of ourselves are we expected to give up, where does it end for us, when does it become about what we went through, what we are going through and how we are dealing with it? No one asks to be sexually assaulted, no one asks to be raped, no one wants to be violated, no one asks to have parts of themselves stolen. Sexual Abuse isn’t only about the destruction/annihilation of one’s innocence but also about the disruption/eruption of their trust in people and the world around them. Everything that you are building as a child is all at once questioned; who do you trust, why is this happening, why is no one stopping it/protecting you. If you are an adult you see everyone as a potential threat, you blame yourself, question how it could have been avoided. SexualAbuse/Assault affects the abused at the very core of their being.

I make this public plea to start speaking up or helping in anyway to make a difference as Sexual abuse is on the rise in St.Lucia; 2 women were raped recently and we only know this because they came forward; there are still many who remain silent. Enough is not being done to protect survivors of sexual abuse, enough is not being done to bring those who offend to justice. Sexual abuse/assault is something that needs to be dealt with Caribbean wide. We can no longer continue to use the excuse “This is the Caribbean, what do you expect?”, we have to create the change that we want in the Caribbean, we have to be the one’s that get the ball rolling in the Caribbean.We have to attacked sexual abuse/assault as it is not only on the rise in St.Lucia but in so many other countries. Distance, geography, language, religion, age, status, race, etc. should not be factors that separate us as Sexual abuse doesn’t discriminate based on any of the above.

We have to believe it will get better, but we also have to fight to make it better.