Not to Blame

For the most part I find myself wrestling with whether or not I made the right decision and the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes that I made the right decision. I have immersed myself over the past few months in books about sexual abuse. The more I read, the more I am realizing that it, this thing that happened to us, was never our fault, we did not entice, seduce, or willing consent to what was done to us. It was forced upon us. And the truth is that they were older so they knew better; they knew what they were doing was wrong hence the threats of violence or shame if we dared talk. It was a choice that was made by the abuser to abuse. We never had a choice in the matter. Yes, we were stripped of our rights to say no, we were stripped of our innocence, our feelings of trust and safety in this world were imploded. Their excuses are nothing but hot air; an attempt to make us feel equally as culpable as they are. But we are not to blame; we did not ask for this, we did not want it; our tears, our pleas, our blank stares, our fractured body’s and minds are the result of what we were forced to endure; some of us at too young an age. Men & Women, Young Boys & Girls, Teenage Boys & Girls, Old Men & Women, have no excuse when they chose to abuse anyone, when they force themselves on someone. So why as a society don’t we fight more for those who have survived this ordeal, why do we make excuses for the abuser, why do we blame the abusee? We had our lives turned upside down and inside out, we have to deal with the repercussions of their actions everyday. This battle is not one we can afford to lose.