Commentary

The battle to be heard is a constant one for a survivor of Sexual Assault. Our voices help us feel a bit more in control. We have been silent for so long that not many realize how much speaking up/out helps. Silence is what has helped hurt us more all these yrs. I think it ridiculous when ppl say get over it. Look how far you've come. Don't let him ruin your life. etc - Who are you to tell me to get over it. Until you've walked in my shoes you are in no position to set a time line on my recovery. Yes I've come far inspite of what was done to me- when you stood back & did nothing to help. That doesn't mean I am not struggling with the aftereffects. Don't let him ruin you. When that was happening & for years after I was alone. A part of me has already been ruined. I, on my own, am trying to piece myself back together. I am not sure what ppl think Sexual Assault is. Sexual Assault isn't something that you walk away from unscathed. No, pieces are broken, parts are taken. We work for years to find our way back. I find that ppl do nothing to help us- they blame us for what was done to us; they silence us & then... & then they turn around and have an opinion about the state/length of our recovery. How does one refuse to believe us, but then tell us when to get over something that didn't happen. HMMM isn't that a tad bit crazy. This is a particularly angering day - all the contradictions, all the ignorance, all the threats, all the guilting, all the sacrifice. What for - so that you, those who haven't been abused/assaulted get to walk around freely commenting on something you know nothing about. You think an individual.(man/woman) is raped and society blames them, asks them if they want to report anonymously. You wonder why should they be blamed, or made to feel shameful. A child( boy/girl) is abused & then the parents do nothing to protect, they again silence them & make them feel shame. One is left to wonder, what has to happen for us to no longer be shoved into silence & shame. What has to happen so the abuser is dealt with? What has to happen so that the abused are protected & supported? How much worse does it really have to get. Currently the stats on Sexual Assault are horrendous; child abuse is ever present in the lives of our children, men and women are constantly being raped yet we prefer to be blind to what is happening around us.