Trust & Abandonment

To many those two words don’t carry much weight. We hear them and ascribe the normal meanings to them. Trust defined as being able to place confidence in or rely on someone, a belief in someone or something. Abandonment the relinquishing, withdrawal, discarding, disowning of someone or something. These two words may not conjure up any images or feelings for the typical individual. For survivors/victims of sexual violence; these words do the opposite; they bring back painful memories, emotions and thoughts.

For many survivors they remember the trust they had in the individual who violated them. They remember relying on that individual, believing in them and at times confiding in them only to have them take advantage of you. Survivors of sexual violence very often have a problem trusting people in the future. Many question how they can ever trust again, why should they after being hurt repeatedly. Abandonment issues run deep with survivors. For many they were either abandoned prior to the sexual assault leaving room for the abuse to occur or they were abandoned directly after. Many survivors aren't supported when the choice is made to break their silence. Many are faced with rejection from those closest too them, many are forced into silence to ensure their hurt and pain doesn’t shame the family.

The lack of Abandonment and Trust follow survivors into adulthood and their adult relationship’s as many aren’t able to seek the help/ support needed. In order for a survivor to be given a chance at a more healthy life there needs to be more aid and support. The issues that arise from being abandoned and having one’s trust broken need to be addressed. The issues that arise out of one having suffered sexual violence are lasting, they follow a survivor from the moment the act is committed until it is address. Facing the issues and acknowledging how one has been affected after being sexually assaulted is the 1^st step. The road to recovery is not without more pain but the end result is worth it.  Let us begin the healing process.