How GOLDEN is SILENCE?

For so many reasons we chose to remain silent. Initially the silence is forced on us; by our abusers, then our family, friends, society. We chose to remain silent because we are afraid, because we want to please those around us, to fall into the normal rules of our society. But then it happens and you begin to embrace the silence; you begin to realize that the choice to speak is yours. You begin to learn that you have a voice and that you can use it whenever you want. Bit by bit you start sounding the words out, so much of it sounds strange, but you begin to recognize the strength in your words. When the time comes you begin to shout out about your pain & suffering, you share what helped you get through the many years in forced silence; THEN when you're ready, when you marry the voice with the image - you share your story. The SILENCE that was forced on you for many years doesn't have to destroy you. Your CHOICE, Your VOICE, Your DECISION.

What you Deserve

Silence has for sometime been our cloak of necessity. We have for some time had no option but to keep everything that was done to us to ourselves. We have had to suffer in silence alone, fearing the repercussions if we told. We no longer have to be silent, we no longer have to keep their secrets. There is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about. Sexual Violence is not something you brought upon yourself, it was not something you chose, it was not something you enjoyed (even though at times your body may betrayed you), you were not an active participant in your assault. Take the time to congratulate yourself for surviving, for making it through each and everyday with all that you were carrying. Don't be hard on yourself for your coping mechanisms, you did what you needed to help you survive. It is not time to move from survival mode to a journey to healing. The coping mechanisms you used in the beginning that are unhealthy begin to replace with more healthy alternatives. Find you voice and let you voice be heard. Speak what you have wanted to for years, release your pent up feelings and begin to put yourself first. Believe that you are worthy of a life that is happy, believe that you deserve better than the hand you have been dealt. YOU ARE BRAVE, WORTHY & STRONGER THAN YOU REALIZE. Celebrate Sexual Assault Prevention & Awareness month with us. FIND YOUR VOICE. USE IT TO PROPEL YOURSELF TO GREATER HEIGHTS. BEGIN YOUR HEALING JOURNEY.

Trust & Abandonment

To many those two words don’t carry much weight. We hear them and ascribe the normal meanings to them. Trust defined as being able to place confidence in or rely on someone, a belief in someone or something. Abandonment the relinquishing, withdrawal, discarding, disowning of someone or something. These two words may not conjure up any images or feelings for the typical individual. For survivors/victims of sexual violence; these words do the opposite; they bring back painful memories, emotions and thoughts.

For many survivors they remember the trust they had in the individual who violated them. They remember relying on that individual, believing in them and at times confiding in them only to have them take advantage of you. Survivors of sexual violence very often have a problem trusting people in the future. Many question how they can ever trust again, why should they after being hurt repeatedly. Abandonment issues run deep with survivors. For many they were either abandoned prior to the sexual assault leaving room for the abuse to occur or they were abandoned directly after. Many survivors aren't supported when the choice is made to break their silence. Many are faced with rejection from those closest too them, many are forced into silence to ensure their hurt and pain doesn’t shame the family.

The lack of Abandonment and Trust follow survivors into adulthood and their adult relationship’s as many aren’t able to seek the help/ support needed. In order for a survivor to be given a chance at a more healthy life there needs to be more aid and support. The issues that arise from being abandoned and having one’s trust broken need to be addressed. The issues that arise out of one having suffered sexual violence are lasting, they follow a survivor from the moment the act is committed until it is address. Facing the issues and acknowledging how one has been affected after being sexually assaulted is the 1^st step. The road to recovery is not without more pain but the end result is worth it.  Let us begin the healing process.